Courage
by Dorayaki-chan
Summary: Something's up with Riku, and I'm gonna find out what it is! One-shot


I stare at him again, hiding behind a book like the coward I am. Sora's surrounded by a bunch of friends again, _as usual. _I hate the fact that most of them are girls. Well, more annoyed than hate. I've learnt from my adventures not to judge people so quickly anymore. Any friend of Sora's is a friend of mine right?

Right?

I pull my book up again to meet my face. My eyes scan through the words, not really reading anymore. Sora's always had the most friends anyways. Who wouldn't want to be his friend? He's bubbly and happy and just a friend. Kairi too. They're both the definition of light. I love them both but I really shouldn't be interfering in their friendship affairs. I don't even know anything about it. Better not to meddle.

Ever since all three of us returned back to school, Sora and Kairi have been the same as usual. Bright, cheerful, sociable. Me? Somehow I got the reputation as a loner, like I give off some dark aura. At first I thought it might be the darkness in my heart leaking out. What if I turn into Ansem in the middle of class?!

"T-that's not what I meant at all!" Sora said, flailing his hands in front of me. Kairi sighed at this.

"What Sora means is that you just look a little...scary."

"Ah" Sora was never the best at explaining things anyway.

So that's how I lived my school life. A loner with a scary face, sitting at the sidelines, but always near Sora. How could I face him? I know, I know, I'm no longer Ansem anymore and I conquered the darkness in my heart and all, but...I can't just expect him to forgive me so easily can I? I took his keyblade from him, his pride. I thought he betrayed me, when it was really me doing the betraying all along...

"Riku!" Sora turns his attention to me, waving his hand at me. That's my cue. I close the book I was using and stuff it in my bag. Then I just walk out the door, not looking back.

"Wait!" I start to walk down the hallways, turning into an isolated corner I know Sora doesn't know about. I can hear him calling my name down the hallway, but I know he doesn't need me. He has his friends. New friends. He has Kairi. He really doesn't need me. I continue down the hallway, heading to the front door.

"Hey!" came a voice behind me. I freeze in my footsteps. "Where do you think you're going?" I hear footsteps running up to me.

"Home" I say, starting to walk again, but slower this time so that Kairi can catch up. She's always been the bridge between us hasn't she? Even though I thought I wouldn't like her back then, she's really become one of my best friends now.

"Avoiding Sora again?" I don't answer this. Of course I am. Isn't it obvious enough? She sighs at my lack of response. "Y'know, he's been talking to me."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. He asks me all the time" she stops in front of me, arms flailing, doing the best Sora impersonation she can "Have you seen Riku? I can't find him anywhere! Even if I do he just disappears like some ghost! Ahh he's even harder to find than when he was Ansem!" I give her a chuckle of encouragement at her less than accurate impression.

"So, why _have _you been running?" she walks beside me again. I just shrug my shoulders at her. But, of course I know why I won't see him again. _Can't _see him again. It's not because he's done anything wrong, it's because I'm scared.

"He's got friends"

"But you're his _best_ friend"

"Yeah, so are you"

"I mean, you're his _best friend" _she says, emphasizing the last two words. It's true, I've noticed how flustered he was when we first returned, and when he first found me as Ansem. What a heart felt moment. But that's even more reason to be afraid isn't it? What if I give in to the power of darkness again? What if I hurt him again? What then?

"Riku, go talk to him okay? Haven't you been running enough?" she leaves me off with that question as we reach her doorstep. She gives me a soft smile and a wave as she disappears into her home. I continue on my way home. I can always count on Kairi on being our baby sitter, even though she's younger than I am. She's a great friend. Not to mention she lives a few blocks away from me.

I pass Sora's house, and I wonder, why is it he's never come over? Had Kairi told him something? Had he wanted to respect my privacy? Or have I been running too much too fast to really ask. Maybe Sora just knew that something was up. But usually he'd come running to me immediately to ask wouldn't he? Maybe he has, but I haven't given him a chance.

Argh. Man I feel like an idiot.

...

_"Let's run away together" _

_"Huh?" he wore his goofy grin, as usual. The grin that I could never resist. _

_"Let's run away together. Where to, your choice" _

_"But...I..." _

_"No one needs to know. Just you, me, and some paradise. Maybe even a whole new world. We don't need anyone else but ourselves. We can be together, forever" the words were rushing out of my mouth so quickly, I wasn't even processing most of it. They still continued to run. "We could get lost at sea together, Sora" I held on to both his hands. I could see the blush on his face. _

_"We could use the stars to guide us. No one will ever find us. It'll just be you and me" I can feel the corners of my mouth pulled upwards. How long has it been since I've smiled at all? I could see Sora's face light up, his eyes glistening like stars. _

_"O-Okay" he said, his voice shaky, but he was smiling, like joy was flooding out of him. _

_And I could feel the joy flooding out of me too. _

_..._

I blink. Once, twice, three times, before rubbing the sleep dust out of my eyes. Damn it, just a dream. I guess...maybe...I should just go talk to Sora. No more of this cowardice stuff. I already know he likes _likes _me. What's there to be afraid of...right?

Right!

I walk out of my front gate to see Sora standing right in front of me, and all at once, I can feel the courage drain out of me. He looks angry. Of course he's angry I've been avoiding him since we came back! Argh.

"Riku" he said, not even a hint of joy or cheerfulness in his voice. He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again. I guess all the courage he had to confront me had drained out of him too. Whatever, this was a stupid idea anyway. I could just leave right now, walk away, head to school. If I don't leave now I'm going to be late-

"Riku!" he shouted this time, and I felt his grip on my wrist. Had I already begun walking away?

"Riku..." I turned around, and he immediately bowed his head low, afraid to meet my eyes "whatever I've done to make you mad, I'm sorry okay?" he shoots his head back up again, this time looking me stone cold in the eyes. For once, I'm the one afraid of someone else.

"But I'm not letting you get away with this anymore!" he pushes me against the wall gate, putting his hands on either side of me. Even though he is a whole head shorter than me, I still find it difficult to escape. I can feel the heat rise up to my cheeks."You've been acting like a total jerk! What's wrong with you?"

"Me? What about you?!" I did not mean to say that, and definitely not in that tone.

"What about me?!"

I put my hands on his shoulders. "You've got friends don't you? New friends? You don't need me anymore Sora. You don't need me to be happy anymore" I can feel the anger and the hurt and the desperation rising up in me again. Not now...

"What?! Of course I need you! You're my best friend!" I push him away and start to walk down the road. He grabs my wrist. He's certainly gotten stronger than I remember.

"Don't ignore me again you jerk!"

"Then what am I supposed to do, huh?!" I can feel it. I can feel it rising. "Break up your relationships with your friends?! Just barge in like I have the rights?! Destroy your new life?!" I shake him by the shoulders. "Tell me Sora! What. Am I. Supposed to do?!" I can feel the darkness.

No, that's not the only thing I can feel. I feel Sora, I feel him shaking beneath my hands. He's scared of me. He's _scared _of _me. _No...not this. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I...

Sora puts his arms around me, hugging me as tight as he can.

"Be my best friend again" he says. "You're acting like when we were kids again Riku. It's not like that anymore okay? We're not kids anymore" something about his voice calms me down. I put my arms around him, returning the embrace. I shut my eyes and squeeze them tight, trying to suppress the darkness within me.

"I'll always be here for you, Riku. Even in your darkest moments, I'll be your light" he says. I can feel his voice go light. Comforting. Warm. "You don't have to be alone anymore. Okay?" something about the word 'alone' or him saying it just makes my heart break a little. But I'm not going to show it to Sora. I'm not a total sap. Instead, I pull away, take his face in my hands, and press my lips to his, hoping that whatever I am unable to say gets transferred by this kiss.

We stay like this for a while, before he pulls away.

"Kairi told you didn't she?"

"No, it was just really obvious" Sora's hands fly up to meet his cheeks immediately, thoroughly embarrassed. I just laugh at this. I'd forgotten how cute he could be. "C'mon, we're going to be late for school" I start walking off, slowly, letting him catch up to me.

"So why _were_ you avoiding me?"

It almost makes me stop in my tracks, but he deserved he truth. "I was afraid."

"Riku? Afraid? Get real."

"Really, I was. I was afraid of hurting you again, Sora. I was afraid that I'd turn into Ansem again, only this time I would be unstoppable. But I never realized that staying away from you..." I can't find the last few words I'm looking for, as if they sunk and stuck themselves to the wall of my throat.

"Well, I'll stop you from turning. And if you do turn, I'll defeat you for sure!" I can't help but laugh at this. "Hey I've gotten stronger you know! I'm catching up to ya!" I just ruffle his hair as we walk. I slide my hand around his waist, keeping him close to me.

Maybe someday, I'll even ask him to get lost at sea with me.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Inspired by 'Lost at sea' by Zedd <strong>_


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